星期日, 6月 03, 2007

what if

「我一心想幫人,點解有人走來做架梁?」

有人在forum求助感情事,朋友m跟不少熱心的網友一樣提出意見。但不幸地,有人鎖定朋友m玩針對,不斷拋出質疑和影射 (但沒有自己的意見或想法),純粹為了展示"critical thinking",引起他人注意 (ie 挑起罵戰)。

這種人,黑人以前也遇過。

話說以前黑人常蒲豬多金,有日在relationship 版見到一個頗奇特的求助故事:

話說一對情侶,女的堅持婚後性行為,大家親熱點到即止。一次吵架,男友突然拿住卷牛皮膠紙將個女仔綑綁封口,女仔嚇到係咁震,期間個男友係有些性舉動的 (忘了是甚麼),綁了好幾個鐘,個男仔終於肯鬆綁,不斷say sorry 之餘講了一個很lame的理由,大概是怕女仔整親自己之類。

女事主問各位網友有何對策、男友是不是變態、會唔會姦殺我 etc etc

豬多金雖然多維園阿伯,仍有一些人比較有sense,首先問個女仔現時是否安全(yes),其次問是否愛個男仔(yes),有無再發生(no),繼而就建議雙方一齊睇心理醫生,尋求解決辦法。

黑人對bondage, S&M 文化丁點認識 (不限於A片但非親身經歷),估計個男仔其實係鍾意SM的,做左咁耐純潔小綿羊,突然因為性慾到+大幅度情緒波動,跳fuse做左平日唔敢做甚至唔敢提的事情。

黑人繼而就解釋,每人多少都有些特殊性癖,有人戀臀,戀足、戀手、戀巨乳、貧乳、戀物、戀制服 etc。只不過有些性癖較常見,所以多人接受,較少見的則被認為變態。只要不是戀屍戀童亂倫或有自毀傾向,問題都不大。不過,最好找專家輔導,好過就咁滿足或deny 個男仔。

大多數的建議其實十分正路,照計講到呢度已經case closed。

之但係,有位朋友為左証明自己有「思便能力」(thinkshitability):
「萬一個男仔姦左你點算呀?」
「你點知佢聽日會唔會失控?」
「我估佢童年應該xxxx, 缺乏yyyy, 所以zzzz,你應該即刻離開佢!」
「你點知佢會唔會做戲俾個醫生睇扮正常,返到屋企就綁架你?」
「我只係從另一個角度去思考,為左個女仔好。」

當時佢十句有八句都是衝著黑人而來。而黑人有樣缺點,就是唔衰得兼夾無聊,一定會同對方拗到底。

不過最終無咁做。

拗得越火,佢就越開心。而且特殊性癖易攻難守,舉example隨時嚇壞女事主,甚至將二人間的房事扯上道德層面批鬥就前功盡廢。

黑人只是跟女事主講「凝住佢係強姦犯,嚇死自己,對成件事又無幫助」,「睇左醫生就信醫生啦,莫要聽我地呢d業餘網友亂咁估,無謂影響療程啦」

思便大師挑選的arch villain (小弟)一直當佢透明,為了引人注意,思便大師講的例子越來越偏激,鑽晒牛角尖,希望將末日鐘推向11:59.9 pm。

幸好當年未興玩分身自己支持自己,多數的網友有sense 之餘又真係幾supportive,最終女事主講返佢男友已經無事,大家依然agree 婚後才有性行為,但親熱時會俾佢綁下,而且經此事後,感情比以前好左,多謝各位關心。

why 可以令自己看上去好像很有見地,what if 可以將最普通的事變得可怕。不少網上思便大師經常用來掩飾自己的空洞。

想起Coldplay 的What if :




What if there was no light.
Nothing wrong, nothing right.
What if there was no time?
And no reason or rhyme?
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side.
That you don't want me there in your life.
What if I got it wrong?And no poem or song..
Could put right what I got wrong,
Or make you feel I belong
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side
That you don't want me there in your life.

Oooooh, that's right
Let's take a brave jump over the side
Oooooh, that's right
How can you know it if you don't even try?
Oooooh, that's right

Every step that you take
Could be your biggest mistake
It could bend or it could break
But that's the risk that you take
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there in your life.
That you don't want me there by your side.

Oooooh, that's right
Let's take a brave jump over the side.
Oooooh, that's right
How can you know it when you don't even try?
Oooooh, that's right
Oooooh, that's right
Let's take a brave jump over the inside
Oooooh, that's right
You know that darkness always turns into light Oooooh, that's right..

5 則留言:

Chris 說...

"思便能力(thinkshitability)"
haha!正!

匿名 說...

有個心理學用的 "trick"

儘量唔好用 "why you...",要用 "what make(s) you think... "
因為用 "why" 的話,提供答案的人
會比較defensive原本只是'小小'pro 講緊嗰樣為了撐自己都變成'十分'pro嗰樣。

咁你未必幫佢思考,可能焗佢接受一d自己都唔肯定的...

TK 說...

welcome chris
你個blog都幾正,不過我唔知link 邊個好 ~ haha

to 匿名

我估因為why you,矛頭直指當事人 (you)
當事人為了維護自己的ego,必定會defensive

what makes you think,責任落在第三者或死物之上(what),當事人的ego 不須受問責,也就不會啟動自我防衛機制

匿名 說...

smart

that's what my lecturer said before

Chris 說...

haha, 多謝先!
如果link嘅話link “a glimpse within vapors and visions" la, 因為另一個blog我多數貼人地d嘢。