黃金甲 vs 水晶甲

平安夜跟朋友們看黃金甲，對於燒錢式國產製作一向不抱期望。

這一次也沒例外，主旋律有三：

1. 中央不賜你的，不能要，規舉不能亂
2. 穩定壓倒一切，無論中央做錯甚麼事，為了大局，中央都沒有錯
3. 中央政權固若金湯
   

再一次看到國產電影背後扭曲了的價值觀，周潤發很多對白都有如乩童上身，較像總書記向觀眾訓話
越華麗的製作，越覺得內容空洞無物
周杰倫呆口呆面始終不太適合古裝片，要他穿上盔甲打鬥更加勉強
心中想到的是「穿起皇袍不似太子」，「沐猴冠衣」

朋友說周潤發作為皇帝實在黝黑了點
大家不斷推敲到底是不是有特別含意，另一友人一語道破：「發哥剛當完張保仔，來不及美白當皇帝啊！」反而較期待演張保仔的發哥。

難得假期休息一兩天，時間過得特別快，這幾日好像沒怎樣工作，又好像沒玩得過癮，休息也不是太足夠，樣樣都有些，三頭不到岸。家中日頭太光猛，又常有訪客，很難集中。
出外又要擔心上網和上廁所沒人看位的問題，左右為難。

不想了，船到橋頭自然直。船不直，我仆直

source file -- 絕情篇

話說一家PR公司為了省幾個錢

將一單我做開的 web project 判給一個更廉價的supplier 做，卻跟我講客戶自行找supplier 去了，想我把source file 交出來給他們自己跟

我只是後期執爛攤，嚴格來說source file 也不是我的

反正我很清楚下一手designer也必定會叫苦連天

那單job 其實很難跟，第一手用最繁複的方式做最簡單的事

再加多兩手加建改道，到我手上已潰不成形

本著日行一善的宗旨，也就全數交出去

當時PR 公司其中一個員工是朋友，仗義幫忙才收得很平宜
現在朋友已轉向更有前途的地方工作，而廉價supplier 出事了

PR派出一位嬌滴滴的小妹妹打電話來求救：

小：「你可不可以send 你最update 的source file 給我？因為xxxx 和yyyy 不見了。」

黑：「你們手上的已是最新版喎。」

小：「但係呢...個客既supplier 搵唔到喎。」

黑：「我搵到喎，佢地有問題嗟，反正個客都無搵你地做，你咁擔心做乜。」

小：「(開始理虧) 唔係既，咁你可唔可以教一教佢地點搵 xxx yyyy zzz？」

黑：「我無理由教佢地用flash 架喎。」

小：「教一教之嘛，咁d 野真係missing 喎」

黑：「我點知佢地下一次唔識野時又會唔會賴我d 野missing？宜家我俾齊料你，佢地無料，係佢地問題，教得一次就有下次架啦！」

小：「咁你有責任確保順利過渡嘛！」

黑：「俾左個source你，我個責任完成兼有找添啦！」

小：「你同我講左咁耐，你用呢個10分鐘教一教佢地，得唔得？」

黑：「唔得。」

小：「咁... (有電話入)我夜d再打俾你啦。」

未完待續

source file -- 含冤篇

最近在跟某銀行的 project，我上家是不懂網頁的 agency
奄尖到不得了，一條3x秒的flash，逐秒逐秒地改，而且今天講明天要，認真吃力

幸好在event 公司打工學會一些做supplier 的常識，儘量配合對方工作，不失期，不誤點，來電必覆 (真是很基本的東西)

試過連續通頂三天，原來人真的可以「做到氣咳」

直至有一天，他們打來問我拿source file，關係就不太好了
通常未完job拿source file，理由只得一個，就是想交給其他人做
而source file 這東西，在行內是不輕易交給客戶的，得另行收費
以前跟agency 的老闆有點交情，不想她為難，也就把file 都送過去
當然也很清楚地講明這是人情，不是道理

再了解情況，字裡行間推斷到，原來他們覺得這次做flash 經常出問題 (遇上一些客觀上不能work around 的軟件限制問題)
而上一次做flash 時沒事 (那是簡單十倍的project)
那就必定是做flash 的人有問題了

我又不能怪他們這樣想，因為換著我甚麼也不懂的話，也可能會這樣思考
暫時對著這種情況，也還未想到拆解的方法

導演的忠告很對：除非很想獲較大profile，否則儘量不要接agency 的工作，因為錢不多，工作量大，外行領導內行，在某些需要簽NDA情況，完事也不能揚名

意外

結婚video 居然有enquiry，都算有點意外，開心了一個下午
後來再詳細瀏覽，似是行家enquiry 居多。

算吧，本來就沒有做生意的打算。

好睏。

合作

有時頗怕跟朋友合作，尤其生意往來。

出事了傷感情，即使成功，友情也很易變質，因為他隨時是你的客戶/拍檔或者上司，以前可以講的事，現在未必方便講。

試過幾次跟朋友合作，結果也不是太好。試過跟太懶散的人合作，見客遲大到工作時睡覺，最後我忍受不了，試過跟強硬好勝的人合作，硬碰硬，不歡而散。也試過跟不懶也不硬的朋友合作，因工作習慣不同，也曾經鬧得很僵，本來很投契也突然變得疏遠了。

可是，不太熟未知底蘊的人，又不敢跟他有甚麼合作關係，矛盾嗎？

最近做了太多友情job，前後合共耗了差不多一個月的時間，上個月的入息不是很理想，開支卻很可觀，兩個朋友先後結婚，搞video 前後請幫忙的朋友吃飯，搭通宵車等等，太傻了，長大點吧 (汗)。

現在得把先前的錢賺回來。

結婚大典

Raymond 兩公婆大婚順利進行，拍了十年拖可謂守得雲開見月明(或一說為拖了十年)。

星期三晚才去完培正同學的婚禮，然後跟朋友a 到cafe one 監控ren 片進度，見到朋友a day job+三份freelance job應接不暇，唯有出手幫忙，讓她騰多點時間剪片，搞到三點幾四點，次日十時又要見客 (幸好氣氛還很不錯)。

見完客，腦袋累得完全跑不動，唯有回家補眠。

星期五ren 片又發生問題，首先無法將影片燒成DVD，Adobe Encore跑不動，Ulead 無法load mov file，還有一隻不知名的製作software 完全應用不能。好容易找導演幫忙，之後又發現有些文字出了safety area被裁掉 (而那正好是新郎和新娘的名字！大汗)

晚上連忙call 朋友a星夜趕工，同時有兩份雜誌廣告稿同時在次日截稿，從未試過一晚內趕起三份完全不同的工作。

星期六早上勉強趕得及把問題修正，飛的前往北角做兄弟。幸好姊妹團手下留情，加上各兄弟同時打橫黎，過程順利完成。

(朋友a 重溫她以前玩兄弟的橋段，包括水煮未去毛的豬肉叫男生每人一塊，當大家滿口豬油膩到講不出話時，又叫其中兩個兄弟打咖輪，極慶幸Raymond 和Catherine 沒有那麼變態的姊妹朋友。 )

中午到教堂行禮，儀式簡單莊重，也是小弟補眠的大好機會。

禮成，自由活動時間 = 躲在starbucks send artwork file +補眠

晚上就是showtime，朋友G 口水多過茶之餘又過份緊張，其實video setup 和維持賓客拍照秩序不是甚麼艱鉅任務，不用講到好像要對付暴動那麼嚴重罷？

播片時間無驚無險，年輕一輩看的十分開心，稍為年長的完全看不懂，也是預料之內 (storyboard 時已經講好，Ray 兩公婆完全不介意)。

同桌大多是Raymond 的舊中學同學，話題不多 (其實培正同學那場wedding 也類似)，折騰了一整天，晚上他們興高采烈要和新人唱k，體力我是有的，但興緻不高，那是溫哥華華人+中學同學聚會，勉強去也是自討沒趣。反而我在想，搞這些籌備工作、甚麼玩新人、玩兄弟、對酒擋酒、馬拉松式拍照之類的玩意，到了新婚洞房花燭夜，二人不是醉死就是睡死，那有氣力做其他。

大婚次日(星期日)十二點還要跟其中一份雜誌稿的revision，搞到晚上十時，再跟一班頗有趣的製作人傾生意，三時回家

一直忙了這麼久，突然有兩三單大job同時完結，突然又回到一個人在公司平靜工作的日子，有點不慣

Wedding video of Raymond and Catherine

咁辛苦為乜？

昨日跟朋友a在Cafe One做短片的最後一part，難度不高但labor intensive
做完已是三點幾，ren 完preview 已經接近天亮
朋友十點還要上班，放工還要做最後調整 (然後交給我做final render + DVD burn)，辛苦了

ren 片期間，見到這一段很有意思的短片

click and watch

有兩個新的job opening，玄學所講的「財多身弱」也許頗準確，但財還未正式入袋身就先弱了(orz)

Conspiracy theory

病了最大的成就，就是一天煲晒第一季的prison break，可能已經比明珠台走得還要前。

朋友a講得十分中，編劇很有技巧地拖時間。我並不喜歡拖長來做，例如龍珠喘息10分鐘那些文場，我不如用來看A片男女喘息十分鐘來得划算。

主角Michael Scofield 的演員Wentworth Miller 靚仔之餘亦正亦邪，將來發展空間應該不小。
電影中他是個機關算盡的天才，既狠且準，將整個監獄的藍圖隱藏在普通紋身之下，十分新鮮。曾經有人指編劇將紋身當成萬用的plot fix，我絕對同意，但編劇開局高明，偷雞也不算太著跡。

只是劇情入面的阻滯看得很奄悶，我明白對手永遠有upperhand 才好看，但優勢也有一個限度吧？一旦完全超出主角能力範圍，就要強行靠其他劇情來推動故事發展，例如主角用最精密的計算逃獄，有些意外ok，有對手阻攔也沒問題，但搞到尾又要爆幾個隱藏人物來解決事情就不好看了，Oceans Twelve 就是這方面的反面教材。

第二季還未做完，興緻已不太高，正如靚太系列，我覺得已經油竭燈枯，不值得看。美國佬永遠覺得還有收視就會繼續榨下去，直至榨乾為止。幸好一些日劇佳作沒有這個情況，若果悠長假期有season 2, 3，還在玩逃婚、鋼琴複賽、主角聽覺有問題etc 我想會吐血。

病了

體力透支，今天被逼大休一整天
腦袋轉不動，就連Gemfire 10多年前的白痴AI 也打不贏
tutorial video 看不懂，沒心情看書

當甚麼也不能做被逼休息時，才明白省那一兩小時的睡眠，得不償失

看完Red Sonja，爛片一部，場景設計倒不算太差，大奸角是一個被劃花了面的lesbian，可惜所有人物都缺乏刻劃，材料很豐富，導演卻不懂泡製

Red Sonja 跟Conan (皇者之劍) 處於同一個架空歷史舞台，阿諾在戲中的角色「加利多」其實就是Conan (因版權問題被逼改動)。上Wiki 調查原來Conan 的世界設定十分詳細，可惜第二集被阿諾毀掉了 (阿諾想走搞笑路線)，現在阿諾也不可能再穿上三角褲當劍客吧？先不論一袋袋的走樣肌肉，他的心臟肯定受不了。

回氣

連續幾日無blog，原因有三

一. 外牆維修師傅將電話線和寬頻線搞亂了。大陸call center 終於有一個比較正常的員工安排師傅維修，而不是重覆要我抽插modem。
二. 沒有寬頻的期間，我分別去圖書館、starbucks 和別人的家上網，甚少返公司，update blog 的興緻不大。
三. 這幾日趁美女freelancer 有空，進行地獄式密集video 剪接大作戰。

關於第三點，有些補充。

• 
  短片還在製作中，完成度雖高但仍有rendering 問題要解決，暫時無野睇
• 咁大個仔，第一次為了打機以外的原因打機 (cap 圖和cap 音樂)，也因為要長期開模擬器打機的緣故，總覺得這不是在辦公室或圖書館做的事情
• Internet access in Starbucks costs lots of bucks, easily matching the number of stars (astronomical), hence the name Starbucks, also the network connection is twice as fishy, as shown in the twin-tailed mermaid pictogram.
• 人馬座x2果然是衝刺力強的生物，四日內把90%的短片做好了
• 通頂多，深黯「借幾多，還幾多+利息」，整個星期日除了短暫的時間用來吃飯和看書外，其餘都在補眠，至今仍覺得很睏，但再睡也補充不了，需時間復元
• Raymond你們兩公婆千祈不要跟我講甚麼大改 (aura of rage activated)
• 今天是回到現實的日子
• 美女freelancer 暫別freelancer 行列，wish you all the best

外判

外判 1

家中寬頻出事，PCCW 客服熱線名符其實令人血壓上升，頭腦發熱：故意隱藏「跟技術支援主任聯絡」這個option，左揀右揀，那個自動系統還搶著替我的modem做測試，花了十多分鐘才肯讓我跟人類員工接觸。

接電話的是個連自己英文名也講不正的大陸人，通話時又有些接收不清的雜音，跟以前的服務員有很大分別，心想大概是大陸的call center。那個技術人員來來去去也是叫我把線拔掉再插過 (可能是 manual 上唯一的應對指南)，早講已試過十萬次也重複如儀，最後我連發火的氣力也沒有，掛線。(至今家中寬頻仍未修好)

外判 2

好消息是可能找到一個有技術的programmer 幫忙寫actionscript，但聽聞又是一個工作態度有問題的人(汗)，現在忙於搞video，死牛也得當活馬騎。

外判 3

Video 又很好運到找到美女freelancer 幫手，心情輕鬆不少。再加上朋友w 找到2003 版RPG maker，入面有很多現成素材可用，省掉不少時間 (還不是高興的時候)。

外判 4

偶爾去圖書館工作，順道借了兩本CSS 的書，以及一本叫 the silent takeover ，探討企業透過外判慢慢取代政府功能的問題，應該頗有趣。

創業

最近結識到一個年輕有為的創業家，星期五晚大家第一次見面 (小弟的名片還未做好，慚愧！)，大家談了一些點子和過往的創業心得，頗投契，但沒有談到任何實質的東西，還是抱觀望態度好了。

動手改攝影師網站的script，第一步遠比想像中易，可是之後的bells & whistles 就十分麻煩，例如漸變換相、slideshow 、preloader animation等等，要拆幾個不同的script example 再融入現有的架構，如果有個programmer 處理這些東西就好了。

Wanted to make the cash quick so I had to work real late.LOL ~

嫁衣神功

最近老是做一些跟結婚有關的東西

這是老爸一個朋友的祝福卡，一天時間做，星期五要印起

還有幫朋友r 做的結婚video，百多張相，本來找到朋友w助陣執相

但執完仲差過未執，起晒pixel，回天乏術，又要自己重新做過

還有入面的artwork 只是開了頭

結婚攝影師的website，不斷有新的東西要改，簡直在挑戰我的actionscript 極限 (再加東西要加錢了[[火]])

programmer無故潛水，手機不通，email 不覆，這些陰質事自己也做過，報應報應

proritize 是一個很切合的詞語，但miracle 會比較符合我現在的需要

長週末

整個周末過得太快，星期五的進度還是膠著狀態，正式完成Raymond wedding video 的對白

遇上兩個有趣的business proposals，小弟由熱血青年變成溫血青年，不會再一股腦兒投身入去，還可以退一步觀察一下，正如朋友T所講，有趣的ideas俯拾皆是，真正能付諸實行的寥寥可數。

晚上連續跑了4 km 再加一組掌上壓和小腹練習，可能還未懂得伸展腹部的肌肉，所以跑至4 km 時呼吸不順，雙足其實還可以多跑1 km

星期六...跟wing 回office 工作，畫了Ray 和Cat 的pixel 頭象，感覺不是太好，但求有七分似就算了，晚上不是花了很多錢，但打了很多機

現在的小朋友認真輸唔起，完全無公平對戰的概念，單對單還要cpu 機助陣，再用上最龜縮的打法 (例如放浮遊炮上前，自己躲在大後方，完全靠電腦自動攻擊，自己負責逃跑)，贏了還自覺很了不起的冷笑
浮遊炮是機體性能一部份，沒問題，也有方法可破
適量的逃跑也可以接受，進和退也是戰略的一部份，但全程即使time over 也不願上前就太過份吧？
至於叫cpu 助陣更是多年來不成文的禁忌，在品流複雜的機舖叫cpu 助陣，隨時被人打

有人將這種3 打 1 (cpu+player+浮遊炮)的打法post上網自誇一番，被眾人指責時辯稱「我只是用盡遊戲的功能吧！有我就會用。」我心想遊戲也設有電源開關，輸家是否應該善用這個功能？

遇上很多舊機友，贏和輸也很開心

星期日去中央圖書館工作 (家中裝修，太吵)，成功解決一個困擾一整個星期的bug，感覺甚佳，但除蟲後才是design 的另一個開始。

星期一勉強寫了一些actionscript，太多工作積壓，有點透不過氣了。睡至六時醒來無事可做，看軟件教學的video也不錯，短時間內學到不少新技巧，若果能掌握cold fusion的話，以後可以自己編寫簡單的database 網頁，火燒後欄時programmer 又潛水實在很為難。

寫完，且看看能否再睡一會。

another 7 habits

7 habits of a highly successful freelance web designer

老生常談，但偶爾看看也不錯

字母湯時間

CSS BEAUTY

近期歐美 (主要是倫敦一帶)很流行用CSS(Cascading StyleSheets)設計網站，在香港不多見。CSS 設計的網站風格很清新，令資訊變得易讀，no-nonsense。

CSS sites 實用性較高，相對沒那麼花巧，但同時 flash 已經很成熟，CSS 網能做到的flash 也一樣可以做到，要專攻其中一項也得花上不少時間，見到香港不少 web designer 的求職廣告一系列的字母湯如:

html/css/xml/php/ajax/javascript/DHTML/asp/
3dMax/server admin/illustration skill/color theory/
after effect/photoshop/illustrator/freehand/flash/
dreamweaver/word/excel/powerpoint

兩至三年工作經驗月薪八千九百八十八，唯有微笑。

Advertising

No, I did not gave the 100% effort as I should have. Thanks for reminding me, Lynette.

Now I understand why the Bang people come back and work on Sundays, that's 100%.

(but hey, what about the crap you wrote a couple days ago?)

艷遇

昨晚跑步過後，應召前往美女freelancer家過夜

我們做了約一小時

到三點實在太累了，最後都要關掉illustrator上床睡覺

個人經驗加上外國一些freelancer的心得：

1.) 作息時間

做全職freelancer 如非十分必要，儘量不要挨夜工作

對身體新陳代謝不好，情緒亦受影響

首先一天的時間感會被打亂，十時至八時工作的人(9 working hours excluding lunch, 45 hours per 5 days-week)，感覺上八時打後仍有數小時的私人時間放鬆

相反，通宵達旦，一覺醒來已是傍晚六七點，別人都在放工回家了，自己卻好像懶懶閒

感覺會很懶散，為了驅走懶散的感覺，會想快點開工，不論能否真的集中精神辦事，一直工作至次日早上累極而睡，效率不高之餘，其實不知不覺地失去私人放鬆時間

又，因為跟白天的朋友有時差，社交變少，人也慢慢孤獨
長此積下去，缺乏下班的感覺，會覺得自己好像沒有休息過，突然一天會爆發出來，輕則放假一兩天，重則數天不想動又為了向這幾天的「懶散」「贖罪」，接下來又會進入另一個burn out 的vicious circle

早睡早起，時間會「見駛」得多

2.) 工作環境

我是個容易受環境影響的人，但無論你是否跟我一樣，也需要設立一個工作空間

最好當然是擁有獨立的辦公室，但簡單間開一個位置工作也可以

進入了「辦公室」，儘量不會做私事，相反，離開後也儘量不要想工作

辦工場所要儘量整齊企理

我以前在睡房工作，首先休息和工作的環境混在一起，令工作時鬆散，休息時緊張

案頭凌亂缺乏整理積了好幾個layer，每早起床第一個感覺就是「絕望」(笑)

環境是令人進入工作狀態的要素，從事創作的人間中換環境走走也無不可，但儘可能有一個固定的地方，令自己意識到「現在需要正經起來了」

3.) 進修

freelancer 沒有同事，甚至有些(如我)長期缺乏對外接觸，創意和工作意欲很快會枯乾

軟件技巧也容易停留在某一階段，例如有人做網頁還是停留在flash 5的技術層面，有人用了多年illustrator，tracing 和構圖也很粗糙

對策是每天或每周騰出一段時間，專門搜尋新的資料或練習新技術，做一些平日做job 不會用的技巧找一些相關的forum或雜誌，例如圖書館有很多graphics / arts 雜誌，國內的設計書籍很平宜資訊也很新

斬了六天柴，第七天用來磨斧頭也不為過吧

4.) 理財和管理

小弟至今也最不擅長的一環，簡單說，開一個excel file，預計每月的開支，然後把每天的開支都記錄，不必刻意節衣縮食，如平常般生活便可，這樣便可知道要舒服地過日子，你每月至少需要賺多少錢，在dry months時，也較易知道甚麼地方可以削減開支

我的開支記錄表是這樣的

另外，做freelancer其實也需要做timesheets 記錄自己花多少時間在甚麼地方，每天「上班」和「下班」的時間。這樣可以知道自己做的job每小時值多少錢，尤其我認識很多freelancer 都抱怨自己花太多時間得到太少回報，timesheet 可以確實量化自己的工時和收入，知道自己花了多少時間工作，便不會覺得自己「太忙」或者「太閒」。

我的timesheet 是這樣的

大概是這麼多，wikipedia 還有很多freelancer 的資料，有兩本書也很適合全職的freelancer 閱讀，一本是 Secrets of a freelance writer，有很多freelancer的生意經，十分實用。另一本是How to be a graphic designer without losing your soul，同樣有十分實用的資料，對graphic designer的幫助更大，因為入面糾正了不少designer 常有的錯誤觀念。

還有一本是Steven Covey 的 7 habits of highly effective people，教人如何有效益地運用自己的時間，一生受用

Memories of Matsuko

約朋友出來散心，久未逢到電影院看戲
朋友Y極力推介一套叫「花樣奇緣」的電影，有如一位主婦向另一位主婦推介新的強力洗衣粉
不斷列舉電影的features: 有很多靚graphics, 是甚麼甚麼導演拍的，歌又很好聽之類

全片用了很多靚motion graphics，用的顏色很夢幻，不時載歌載舞，有些身體語言gag 位，看得很輕鬆
就這樣，我很輕鬆被導演帶到悲劇的深谷...尤其結尾那十多分鐘，所有演員大合唱片頭那首兒歌
嘩！出事了，自從鐵達尼之後，久未需要忍住淚水，身邊的朋友更是頻頻拭淚

事後，跟朋友討論劇情，大家都很努力擠出笑容
忽然想起日落巴黎其中一段對白，大意是這樣的：「撞車坐輪椅的人跟中了六合彩的人誰較開心？當適應劇變後，本來的性格就會浮現出來，例如樂天的人習慣了輪椅後仍然會很樂天。」

我不禁想，悲劇主角的命運，運氣固然有影響，可是大多數卻是性格趨使主角作出悲劇選擇
最後導致無可挽回的結果

這時跟朋友不約而同：「松子的下場，在她年幼時便註定了！」

這種想法很殘酷，但我認為比較接近現實
(那我的命運又會是怎樣？)

resolve

兩個deadline 同時壓過來，很不想交行貨

我相信，即使資質平庸，只要持續努力便可達到一個不錯的水平
無論創意如何發揚脫兔，培訓的方式其實很機械性，多看，多落手實踐，多交流
我以前太相信「原創」，太著重「意境/眼界」忽視技巧和細節
所以很多東西以為很易，原來也做不出來

多年前，朋友S 和 W 也是甚麼都不懂的人，現在前者是個專業的programmer，後者由不懂繪畫變成掌握一定程度的畫功，坦白說，要變成大師的機會很渺茫，離優秀也還有一段距離，但到達優秀層次只是時間問題

希望每天有規律的工作和訓練，能夠把自己帶到一個較理想的水平罷

******

Paul Oakenfold 我實在愛死你了，Swordfish soundtrack 7x 分鐘一氣呵成，點解咁耐以前你d音樂已經可以咁型架？

朋友

開始著手新版面的設計，面對無盡的花紋、swash、dingbats，不斷在想「貴氣」這兩個字
正如「完美」一樣，越掛在嘴邊，意義越是相反
勉強砌了些東西出來，不是太滿意，越覺得只是一堆呆板的pattern 而已

朋友說：參考 A 君那些浮誇花紋吧！
啊，又係播！

下午在搞新scanner，ibook 實在太老了，已經沒有OS9 的driver (其實我喜歡OS 9 多於OS X)
結果還得用Dell 去 scan 圖，想起要用ibook 砌版面，光是字款轉換已經很頭痛了

朋友說：我自己帶了電腦來，scan 圖都交在我身上吧！
啊，太感謝你了！

傍晚六時，腦子已經跑不動了，設計的進度只能用寸進來形容

朋友說：不如做別的工作吧！
嘿！結果很快就把公司的臨時網頁弄好

十時許，收拾一天的 loose ends，正苦惱明天另一個deadline 時

朋友說：嘿！你知否某靈長類的朋友快要結婚，並且找了路人甲作為兄弟！
KERO!!!!!!!

幾個發現

發現我自家的scanner、姑姐的舊scanner 以及wing 的scanner 不是掛掉就自動加插彩色間條

發現新一部scanner 才四百元，可能跟維修的費用差不多

發現Blog 在設定格式時，將BlogMetaData 一句加在head 後面，可以消除ie 空白畫面的問題

又，發現 youtube 的Video 可以換成flv 下載，要先經過這個網站將影片的link 拆解出來，然後將extension 改成.flv 就可以，另外需要下載一個flv player，功能一般

發現 PC Weekly 再也沒有硬件價錢表

發現新一代的小學生實在太厲害了...居然有專業的拍攝小組

全方位發展記事

政府宣傳廣告說成年人每天平均需要30 分鐘以上的帶氧運動方可維持健康，星期一、二、四我都有跑步，平均30分鐘跑+30分鐘拉筋 (跑前及跑後)，數字上勉強達到基本要求吧，昨日本想由3km 增加至4km，可是這幾天睡眠不足，報紙上又有警員跑步暴斃的報導，還是...哈哈...算罷

除了工作和惡補 AS 之外，最近開始看「課長島耕作」，在這之前已啃掉整套「鋼之煉金術士」(未完)和全套「新暗行御史」(未完)。課長的資料搜集和劇本寫得不錯，唯一不太好就是情慾線(我不認為那是愛情線) 比重太多，業務上的鬥智鬥力比預期少，看完課長下一個目標可能是「死亡筆記」或者「部長島耕作」，兩者都不是適合在漫畫書坊看的東西

近期看AS書太多，反而沒有興緻看其他字書

電影倒有一大票，最近看過Before Sunset, Ocean's Eleven 和續集Ocean's Twelve，Eleven是不可多得的佳作，Twelve卻是編劇油竭燈枯的証明，聽聞將來還打算推出 Ocean's Thirteen，期望不大，還有破紀錄的看完第一季Desperate Housewives，說穿了是婆媽劇集，只是層次和製作水平跟香港有些分別

Faithless 全套disography 到手，(我只喜歡有Maxi Jazz主唱的部份)近期聽Tiesto 的04和05年 Live in Heineken Music Hall，兩場live都是一track過，三百幾分鐘，真佩服DJ的體力。Zero 7的新碟The Garden 英國味很重，暫時找不到合適的形容詞，聽到Today 一曲就會想起 Build，兩者風格很像

買了好幾套電影：The Island, Ray, Kill Bill2, Sin City, Big Fish。真不敢相信自己錯過這麼多東西



至於工作...哈哈...積了一大堆，得閒死唔得閒病

Desperate Houseguy

有program 底就是不同，朋友S學actionscript 一天就學會我一星期的東西，但仍然談不上熟習和實際應用，理想預計再學多一兩天大概可以開始實戰了。

有他在分輕了不少programming 功夫，可以騰多些時間去想設計的問題。

除了做AS，還有朋友R 的結婚video要做資料搜集，pixel 公仔可能有點麻煩，SouthPark 的剪紙公仔頗易做，也很好玩，但C 嫌太肥又不要。

預感這個project遠比想像中麻煩，花時間，「重要」又不是太緊

(交了給你==鬆一口氣==完全不理)，講的時候很open，做起就會有很多地方想改，至今還未有二人的相片，感覺已不是太好

理論上，storyboard 和prelim 做多些功夫可以減輕問題，但千萬不要給我估中真的那麼麻煩

actionscript 肉搏記事

早前接連一星期也是跟actionscript 搏鬥，初期採用蜜蜂式*的探路方法，先將程式寫成一個個小步驟，然後逐步達成。後來盲頭蒼蠅的不斷搜刮 syntax example，終於找到解決案子的方法。
感想有二
一：市面上大多數的actionscript 書籍雖然比較有系統，但涵蓋的範圍十分有限
二：google 很厲害，解答了大多數的問題 (曾經有位朋友的blog entries, 以及在各forum 打混的紀錄等全可以用google 找得到)

actionscript 已經演變成很大沱的application language，跟最初學flash 時主要作特效用途已不可同日而語，我想...若果要在web design 打混，還不需要變成一個 AS 魔人吧 (合什)，跟某橙的前任同事一樣，我還是喜歡鑽研人類的語言。

網站進度理想的話，一星期應可以完成案子，但programming 跟design 不同，debug 需時甚久，放的時間越多不一定得到相應回報 ，有幾次我在office 花了整天debug也沒成果，卻在打機或跑步後突然想到法子，所以能否跟客人說一星期搞定呢？哈哈....哈哈...


* 網絡流傳已久的理論：蜜蜂跟蒼蠅困在一個瓶子內，蜜蜂會不斷朝一個方向找出路，直至氣力用盡為止，而蒼蠅會亂撞，因此有較大機會成功逃脫。

AS Duel

今早一直在微調intro 動畫的速度，因為圖檔較大，人手tween 始終不太流暢上網找actionscript，幾經辛苦找到一個tweening script
整個script 以數學算式為基礎，放低數學已久，開始還勉強明白，後來作者突然跳級用一些script 去解釋為何算式A 行不通要改用算式B 時，我就徹底投降了

幸好橙仗義指點迷津。看來得好好找一本actionscript 的入門書，灣仔腦場不是沒有，但小弟放洋留學的後遺症是...看不懂中文電腦技術文獻

(例：今天才知道國內「小樣」即是英語的thumbnail，「激活」有時是click，有時是activate)

英語電腦書在灣仔區是不存在的，明天中午且去times square pageone碰碰運氣，不成就要去旺角或者amazon

今天得感謝Ken 兄crit 小弟的quotation design，原來設計公文格式也有不少學問，原本還想製作成為PDF form，理論上跟excel 是通用的，也較美觀，但excel 可以輕易做到的東西，無謂浪費時間

明天夜晚有約，改為今天練跑，獨自跑連貫3km，不錯

罐頭音樂日

早上再做了一陣trace 圖...舊同事警告我舊老細的奸狡特性
平衡mock up 與金錢回報之下，花了一個早上做了layout presentation email 給舊老細
坦白說那幅插畫遠遠未到我心目中那種Wow 的水平，再花點時間就可以解決
但總不能投資太多時間落一些不確定的案子上面，小城風光那一次吃的教訓可真不小
順帶一提，今天八卦去劇團的網站看過，一如所料，海報最終定稿就是paste 那張版權插畫稍稍改動了事，字款當然是細明體啦！

若果心中一早就有既定的方向，何苦扮open 浪費大家時間。不過話說回來，聽聞進x的高層也是這樣子，心中早已有答案，卻裝作向你問意見，看看你能否猜中，所以做文化sector的生意除了掙不到錢和花時間之外，隨時連創作的空間也沒有 (一面淪為「手」，還在幻想客戶很開通)。

happy hour 友人有事爽約，提早回家看電影。先抓一部「日落巴黎」，在澳門工幹時已經看過些許，印象不差，節奏快 (real time)，令人恨不得戲可以拍長些，讓男女主角多聚一會。

三十幾歲已婚男女的無奈和失落，也開始有些體會。男主角一句描寫自己婚姻很到肉：「我是跟一個前度情人合作辦託兒所矣。」

之前已經聽過不少此片的前傳和背景，此處不贅總之，作為一個要求簡單娛樂的庸俗電影客來說，此片沒有令我悶親。

看罷電影，整晚為kung的網站找sound loops，滿腦都是罐頭音樂，對上一次聽這麼多royalty free music大概是04年跟bang 搞賀年video的事，聽完大大改變我對romantic 和classical 的觀感，romantic 永遠最不romantic，classic 完全沒有class!

印象中最合適的音樂莫過於Yanni的Reflections of passion，從CD架上抓來聽 (非live 版本)，怎麼越來越像剛才的romantic 罐頭？

趕

謝謝mon的午飯!
祝你有得加人工啦 ~~

今日的時間過得特別快，做些少research，trace圖，不經不覺就六點

七點左右跟kung 傾網頁，幸好方案被接納了，只差細節需要做出來再微調暫時預定是flash intro + css, 需要跟programmer 夾一夾

之後跟他吃晚飯...做婚禮攝影師還真好賺...淡季也有兩萬多元，自問剛重新開張，一定做不到

而且turn around time 以及margin 完全不同，幸好做graphics 的器材投資不用那麼大唯有安慰自己一兩年後有機會扯平吧 (笑)

昨日太晚吃飯所以跑1 km就作嘔，今日終於報了仇.，一連氣3km 是也。跑完人也覺得輕了些許

暫時工作進度也尚算滿意，若果持續二至三天也有相若進度應該可以騰出時間搞漫畫

快看完how to be a graphic designer without losing your soul，好書，有機會獨立抽一節再寫。下一本是freakonomics，想看已久。

在人民書店見到的廉價英文版the world is flat 以及blue ocean，Seth Gobin 的purple cow 也有興趣，還有新買的Ocean Eleven, Ocean Twelve，還有...

Bring my family back

Briny my family back
-faithless

Beg you listen me, don't be kissin me til I'm done
unsung champion, a reason like seasoning ah
pepper your thoughts with spice,
and entice you to a space where I dwell with bass players and layers are loops
think what I think with my prayers its nice
my world is everything I've become
contained in the hum between voice and drum
I'm coming from the same place I'm a still running from
but even sitting in the garden one can still get stung

I'm on lonely street age nearly three
Recently Mama's crying all the time is it because of me or my younger sister,
even Dad was weeping when he kissed her.
Face all puffy like a blister,
crying like he missed her.
Since we moved away from the house,
where we used to play.
They say I'll understand one day but I doubt it,
Mama never say nothing about it.
How'd it get to be so crowded.
I found it a strain, everywhere I look I see pain.
And I can't escape the feeling, maybe I'm to blame.
So I strain to listen, Praying for a decision,
wishing they where kissing.
This feels like extradition or exile,
Mama finds it hard to smileSo I make pretend cups of coffee in her favorite style.
She says child I'm working so there's nothing you lack.
But she know I want my Dad I want my family back.

I'm on Lonely Street, age forty three.
Couldn't gauge when to quit so my wife quit me.
Took offense, took the kids,
I wish that was the end.
But before she took her leave
she took care of my best friend.
Working all the hours.
God send was not the tactic
You see, because after ten years I'm left with jack shit
Wanted to make the cash quick so I had to work real late.
Bad sex, my woman's vex, even if I stay awake.
And if I'm honest, I had a little cake at the office.
I was eating. We'd do our cheating over coffees,
making tea for the bosses.
Making free with me,
and I agree I got sleazy too easily.
But I'm forty three,
this doesn't usually happen to me.
Now I'm lonely,
I wonder what my son's doing today.
Suddenly I'm blinking like the screen on my computer display.
And I'm drinking.
Concerned about what's down the track
if I don't get my family back.
I want my family back

I'm on Lonely Street, number fifty three.
Boarded up property,
I'll probably get pulled down.
Litter all around inside there's
no sound and no light.
But yo it gets busy at night, People creeping.
Derelicts sneaking to fix. Speaking.
On the way my timbers creaking,Roof leaking.
And bricks coming loose,
knee high in refuse.
But even though I'm a slum,
I'm still of some use.
There was a time when my walls where decorated.
And under my roof children where educated.
But now paint's faded, windows are all smashed,
a crash in the economy robbed me of my family.
And no strategy, combats negative equity,
so that's it. Like violence it's drastic.
I'm freaking, and seeking to be
more than just a house for crack.
Somebody bring my family back.

第一次聽faithless 的歌是insomnia，但畫面、意思和感覺以這首最佳。
listen

熄火埋口

(事發於九月十二號)

繼之前ban 開有條癮之後，新的客戶接洽人於半夜send 了兩張圖給我，說是托朋友素描出來的，請看看合不合用。早上開email 看看，兩張圖都畫得不錯，就是有點蒙糊，擔心印出來效果水糊糊的不太好，我還很認真地嘗試調色和落filter 營造復古的感覺。

好心跟客戶提出這個問題，誰知細心一看，原來就是昨日版權問題未解決的圖片，那個接洽人把圖crop 出來，加兩個filter 就哄我說這是重新畫的。原先好不容易才壓住的火氣一下爆出來，不做了！已經講過我不願挺而走險，第一次當我是傻仔說沒版權問題，駁回後又使這些小手段，連最基本的尊重都欠奉，你們另找羊牯吧！

這時候說 un-ban 已經太遲，即使你們很「體諒」地「讓」我用回原來的設計，合作互信已經毀掉，若果你們想搏一搏，為何不跟我直接講？反而用這些小家手法希望瞞過我？若果我真的被你們騙倒又出事了，誰來擔當？你們大可以說不知情，到時我就要硬食了

要再數落去，最初你們就不珍惜別人的誠意，讓我當傻子畫了幾十個鐘才慢慢找些參考來「幫手」，還要講「我們也估不到你的畫功原來畫不出那個水平」、「原來你是做網頁的嗎？難怪你做海報就不太行...」這些是人話來的嗎？

不要跟我說你們不是pro 就搪塞過去，不是專業又怎樣？我不收費為你們工作，一是給朋友面子，二是給你們面子，也是在掏自己的工時(ie 錢) 送給你們 (甚至連stock photo 都用上了)，至少都應該有少少appreciation 吧？我連source file 都留下給你們跟進，還要跟我講侮氣說話 (接洽時態度也很差)，人品也太過惡劣吧？

朋友，這次你把友情信用卡透支得太盡了

(九月十三日)

巨峰豪乳，決定不回寫字樓工作。今天全力為另一個客戶的網頁繪插畫 (感謝Cece 的參考圖片，效果好多了)。畫到尾，發現自己真的缺乏透視訓練，唯有臨急抱佛腳罷！

找到這個illustration 教學網站，實在大開眼界，以前很多這類的technical illustration 也不知怎樣畫出來的。喜歡繪畫或者做設計的行家絕對要入去看看！

把幾火

第二次弄的poster 雖然沒那麼多時間，也很用心的花了兩天
完成後居然說甚麼圖片不夠城鎮 feel 又ban 掉，然後叫我用一張從網站 download 的圖頂上
先不講解像度夠不夠，光是版權已經成問題，還要拋甚麼作者死了五十年以上就沒事的敷衍說話
莫扎特也死了五十年以上，你試試將命運交響曲放在自己的商業作品內，看看演奏的管弦樂團告不告你？

很客氣的給客戶回了一個email，原文節錄大概是... it would be to your advantage to seek other designers should you require more major revisions onwards. 中文可以濃縮做五個字：「再改，唔撚做！」

再做落去不是搏掌聲 (更無利潤可言)，只是不想在生死關頭丟低客人自生自滅，我也超出自己本份再提供一張stock photo，以及說若果再不適合可以做一個typographic 的poster，但再ban 就不會再做，這樣也算仁至義盡吧。

放這麼多時間落這單job，對其他客真的不公平，放棄又有點可惜。最氣頂就是友人還要不識時務地說「其實你忙可以唔做架，真架」

反正又是ban 掉的作品，放上來悼念一下

Talking to God...

I met god the other day.
I know what you’re thinking. How the hell did you know it was god?
Well, I’ll explain as we go along, but basically he convinced me by having all, and I do mean ALL, the answers. Every question I flung at him he batted back with a plausible and satisfactory answer. In the end, it was easier to accept that he was god than otherwise.
Which is odd, because I’m still an atheist and we even agree on that!
It all started on the 8.20 back from Paddington. Got myself a nice window seat, no screaming brats or drunken hooligans within earshot. Not even a mobile phone in sight. Sat down, reading the paper and in he walks.
What did he look like?
Well not what you might have expected that’s for sure. He was about 30, wearing a pair of jeans and a "hobgoblin" tee shirt. Definitely casual. Looked like he could have been a social worker or perhaps a programmer like myself.
‘Anyone sitting here?’ he said.
‘Help yourself’ I replied.
Sits down, relaxes, I ignore and back to the correspondence on genetic foods entering the food chain…
Train pulls out and a few minutes later he speaks.
‘Can I ask you a question?’
Fighting to restrain my left eyebrow I replied ‘Yes’ in a tone which was intended to convey that I might not mind one question, and possibly a supplementary, but I really wasn’t in the mood for a conversation. ..
‘Why don’t you believe in god?’
The Bastard!
I love this kind of conversation and can rabbit on for hours about the nonsense of theist beliefs. But I have to be in the mood! Its like when a jehova’s witness knocks on your door 20 minutes before you’re due to have a wisdom tooth pulled. Much as you'd really love to stay… You can’t even begin the fun. And I knew, if I gave my standard reply we’d still be arguing when we got to Cardiff. I just wasn’t in the mood. I needed to fend him off.
But then I thought ‘Odd! How is this perfect stranger so obviously confident – and correct – about my atheism?’ If I’d been driving my car, it wouldn’t have been such a mystery. I’ve got the Darwin fish on the back of mine – the antidote to that twee christian fish you see all over. So anyone spotting that and understanding it would have been in a position to guess my beliefs. But I was on a train and not even wearing my Darwin "Evolve" tshirt that day. And ‘The Independent’ isn’t a registered flag for card carrying atheists, so what, I wondered, had given the game away.
‘What makes you so certain that I don’t?’
‘Because’, he said, ‘ I am god – and you are not afraid of me’
You’ll have to take my word for it of course, but there are ways you can deliver a line like that – most of which would render the speaker a candidate for an institution, or at least prozac. Some of which could be construed as mildly amusing.
Conveying it as "indifferent fact" is a difficult task but that’s exactly how it came across. Nothing in his tone or attitude struck me as even mildly out of place with that statement. He said it because he believed it and his rationality did not appear to be drug induced or the result of a mental breakdown.
‘And why should I believe that?’
‘Well’ he said, ‘why don’t you ask me a few questions. Anything you like, and see if the answers satisfy your sceptical mind?’
This is going to be a short conversation after all, I thought.
‘Who am I?’
‘Stottle. Harry Stottle, born August 10 1947, Bristol, England. Father Paul, Mother Mary. Educated Duke of Yorks Royal Military School 1960 67, Sandhurst and Oxford, PhD in Exobiology, failed rock singer, full time trade union activist for 10 years, latterly self employed computer programmer, web author and aspiring philosopher. Married to Michelle, American citizen, two children by a previous marriage. You’re returning home after what seems to have been a successful meeting with an investor interested in your proposed product tracking anti-forgery software and protocol and you ate a full english breakfast at the hotel this morning except that, as usual, you asked them to hold the revolting english sausages and give you some extra bacon. ‘
He paused
‘You’re not convinced. Hmmm… what would it take to convince you?’
'oh right! Your most secret password and its association'
A serious hacker might be able to obtain the password, but no one else and I mean
NO ONE
knows its association.
He did.
So how would you have played it?
I threw a few more questions about relatively insignificant but unpublicised details of my life (like what my mother claims was the first word I ever spoke – apparently "armadillo"! (Don't ask…)) but I was already pretty convinced. I knew there were only three possible explanations at this point.
Possibility One was that I was dreaming or hallucinating. Nobody’s figured out a test for that so, at the time I think that was my dominant feeling. It did not feel real at the time. More like I was in a play. Acting my lines. Since the event, however, continuing detailed memories of it, together with my contemporaneous notes, remain available, so unless the hallucination has continued to this day, I am now inclined to reject the hallucination hypothesis. Which leaves two others.
He could have been a true telepath. No documented evidence exists of anyone ever having such profound abilities to date but it was a possibility. It would have explained how he could know my best-kept secrets. The problem with that is that it doesn’t explain anything else! In particular it doesn’t account for the answers he proceeded to give to my later questions.
As Sherlock Holmes says, when you’ve eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
Good empiricist, Sherlock.
I was forced to accept at least the possibility that this man was who he claimed to be.
So now what do you do?
Well, I’ve always known that if I met god I would have a million questions for him, so I thought, ‘why not?’ and proceeded with what follows. You’ll have to allow a bit of licence in the detail of the conversation. This was, shall we say, a somewhat unusual occurrence, not to mention just a BIT weird! And yes I was a leetle bit nervous! So if I don’t get it word perfect don’t whinge! You’ll get the gist I promise.***********************************

‘Forgive me if it takes me a little time to get up to speed here, but its not everyday I get to question a deity’
‘The Deity’ he interrupted.
‘ooh. Touchy!’ I thought.
‘Not really – just correcting the image’
Now That takes some getting used to!
I tried to get a grip on my thoughts, with an internal command - ‘Discipline Harry. You’ve always wanted to be in a situation like this, now you’re actually in it, you mustn’t go to pieces and waste the opportunity of a lifetime’
‘You won’t’ he said.
Tell you! That’s the bit that made it feel unreal more than anything else - this guy sitting across the table and very obviously accurately reading my every thought. Its like finding someone else hand inside your trouser pocket!
Nevertheless, something made me inclined to accept the invasion, I had obviously begun to have some confidence in his perception or abilities, so I distinctly remember the effect of his words was that I suddenly felt deeply reassured and completely relaxed. As he had no doubt intended. Man must have an amazing seduction technique!
So then we got down to business…
‘Are you human?’
‘No’
‘Were you, ever?’
‘No, but similar, Yes’
‘Ah, so you are a product of evolution?’
‘Most certainly – mainly my own’
‘and you evolved from a species like ours, dna based organisms or something equally viable?’
‘Correct’
‘so what, exactly, makes you god?’
‘I did’
‘Why?’
‘Seemed like a good idea at the time’
‘and your present powers, are they in any way similar to what the superstitious believers in my species attribute to you?’
‘Close enough. ’
‘So you created all this, just for us?’
‘No. Of course not’
‘But you did create the Universe?’

‘This One. Yes’
‘But not your own?’
‘This is my own!’
‘You know what I mean!’
‘You can’t create your own parents, so No’
‘So let me get this straight. You are an entirely natural phenomenon.’
‘Entirely’
‘Arising from mechanisms which we ourselves will one day understand and possibly even master?’
‘subject to a quibble over who "we ourselves" may be, but yes’
‘meaning that if the human race doesn’t come up to the mark, other species eventually will?’
‘in one.’
‘and how many other species are there already out there ahead of us?’
‘surprisingly few. Less than fourteen million’
‘FEW!?’
‘Phew!’
‘And how many at or about our level?’
‘currently a little over 4 ½ billion’
‘so our significance in the universe at present is roughly equivalent to the significance of the average Joe here on planet Earth in his relation to the human race?’
‘a little less. Level One, the level your species has reached, begins with the invention of the flying machine. I define the next level in terms your Sci Fi Author Isaac Asimov has already grasped. It is reached when you achieve control of your own primary – the Sun. What Asimov calls a Type I technology. Humanity is only just into the flying machine phase, so as you can imagine, on that scale, the human race is somewhat near the bottom of the level one pack’
‘and all these species are your children?’
‘I like to think of them that way’
‘and the point?’
‘at its simplest, "Life Must Go On". My personal motivation is the desire for conversation. Once you’ve achieved my level, you cease to be billions of separate entities and become one ecstatic whole. A single entity that cannot die, however advanced, or perhaps, more accurately, because it is so advanced, will get lonely and even a trifle bored! I seem to be the first. I do not intend to be the last’
‘so you created a Universe which is potentially capable of producing another god like yourself?’
‘The full benefit will be temporary, but like most orgasms, worth it.’
‘this being the moment when our new god merges with you and we become one again?’
‘don’t play it down, that’s the ecstatic vision driving us all, me included – and when it happens the ecstasy lasts several times longer than this universe has already existed. Believe me, it really is worth the effort.’
‘Yes, I think I can see the attractions of a hundred billion year long orgasm’
‘and humans haven’t even begun to know how to really enjoy the orgasms they are already capable of. Wait till you master that simple art!’
‘So its all about sex is it?’
‘Ecstasy is merely a reward for procreating, it is what makes you want to do it. This is necessary, initially, to promote biological evolution. However once you’ve completed that stage and no longer require procreation, you will learn that ecstasy can be infinitely more intense than anything offered by sex’
‘Sounds good to me!'
'How direct is your involvement in all this? Did you just light the fuse which set off the big bang and stand back and watch? Or did you have to plant the seeds on appropriately fertile planets?’
‘The seeds evolved in deep space, purely as a result of the operations of the laws of physics and chemistry which your scientists have begun to attain a reasonable grasp of. Yes I triggered the bang and essentially became dormant for nearly 5 billion years. That’s how long it took the first lifeforms to emerge. That places them some 8 billion years ahead of you. The first intelligent species are now 4.3 billion years ahead of you. Really quite advanced. I can have deeply meaningful conversations with them. And usually do. In fact I am as we speak’
‘So then what?’
‘Do I keep a constant vigil over every move you make? Not in the kind of prying intrusive sense that some of you seem to think. Let's say I maintain an awareness of what's going on, at a planetary level. I tend only to focus on evolutionary leaps. See if they’re going in the right direction’
‘And if they’re not?’
‘Nothing. Usually’
‘Usually?’
‘Usually species evolving in the wrong direction kill themselves off or become extinct for other reasons’
‘Usually?’
‘There have been one or two cases where a wrong species has had the potential of becoming dominant at the expense of a more promising strain’
‘Let me guess. Dinosaurs on this planet are an example. Too successful. Suppressed the development of mammals and were showing no signs of developing intelligence. So you engineered a little corrective action in the form of a suitably selected asteroid’
‘Perceptive. Almost correct. They were showing signs of developing intelligence, even co-operation. Study your velocirapters. But far too predatory. Incapable of ever developing a "respect" for other life forms. It takes carrying your young to promote the development of emotional attachment to other animals. Earth reptiles aren’t built for that. The mammals who are, as you rightly say, couldn’t get a foothold against such mighty predators. You’ve now reached the stage where you could hold your own even against dinosaurs, but that’s only been true for about a thousand years, you wouldn’t have stood a chance 2 million years ago, so the dinosaurs had to go. They were, however, far too well balanced with the ecology of the planet, and never developed technology, so they weren’t going to kill themselves off in a hurry. Regrettably, I had to intervene.’
‘Regrettably?’
‘They were a beautiful and stunningly successful life form. One doesn’t destroy such things without a qualm.’
‘But at that stage how could you know that a better prospect would arise from the ashes?’
‘I didn’t. But the probability was quite high.’
‘and since then, what other little tweaks have you been responsible for in our development?’
‘None whatsoever. I set an alarm for the first sign of aerial activity, as I usually do. Leonardo looked promising for a while, but not until the Montgolfier brothers did I really begin to take an interest. That registered you as a level one intelligent species’
‘So Jesus of Nazareth, Moses, Mohammed…’
‘hmmm… sadly misguided I’m afraid. Anyone capable of communicating with their own cells will dimly perceive me – and all other life as being connected in a strictly quantum sense, but interpreting that vision as representing something supernatural and requiring obeisance is somewhat wide of the mark. And their followers are all a bit too obsessive and religious for my liking. Its no fun being worshipped once you stop being an adolescent teenager. Having said that, it's not at all unusual for developing species to go through that phase. Until they begin to grasp how much they too can shape their small corner of the universe, they are in understandable awe of an individual dimly but correctly perceived to be responsible for the creation of the whole of that universe. Eventually, if they are to have any hope of attaining level two, they must grow out of it and begin to accept their own power and potential. Its very akin to a child’s relationship with its parents. The awe and worship must disappear before the child can become an adult. Respect is not so bad as long as its not overdone. And I certainly respect all those species who make it that far. It’s a hard slog. I know. I've been there.’
‘You’ve been watching us since the Montgolfiers, when was that? 1650s?’
‘Close. 1783’
‘Well, if you’ve been watching us closely since then, what your average citizen is going to want to know is why you haven’t intervened more often. Why, if you have that sort of power, did you allow such incredible suffering and human misery?’
‘It seems to be necessary.’
‘NECESSARY??!!’
‘Without exception, intelligent species who gain dominance over their planet do so by becoming the most efficient predators. There are many intelligent species who do not evolve to dominate their planet. Like your dolphins, they adapt perfectly to the environment rather than take your course, which is to manipulate the environment. Unfortunately for the dolphin, his is a dead end. He may outlive the human race but will never escape the bounds of planet earth - not without your help at any rate. Only those who can manipulate the world they live in can one day hope to leave it and spread their seed throughout the universe.
Unlike the adaptors, who learn the point of cooperation fairly early on, manipulators battle on. And, once all lesser species have been overcome, they are so competitive and predatory that they are compelled to turn in on themselves. This nearly always evolves into tribal competition in one form or another and becomes more and more destructive - exactly like your own history. However this competition is vital to promote the leap from biological to technological evolution.
You need an arms race in order to make progress.
Your desire to dominate fuels a search for knowledge which the adaptors never require. And although your initial desire for knowledge is selfish and destructive, it begins the development of an intellectual self awareness, a form of higher consciousness, which never emerges in any other species. Not even while they are experiencing it, for example, can the intelligent adaptors - your dolphins - express the concepts of Love or Time.
Militarisation and the development of weapons of mass destruction are your first serious test at level one. You're still not through that phase, though the signs are promising. There is no point whatsoever in my intervening to prevent your self-destruction. Your ability to survive these urges is a crucial test of your fitness to survive later stages. So I would not, never have and never will intervene to prevent a species from destroying itself. Most, in fact, do just that.’
‘And what of pity for those have to live through this torment?’
‘I can’t say this in any way that doesn’t sound callous, but how much time do you spend worrying about the ants you run over in your car? I know it sounds horrendous to you, but you have to see the bigger picture. At this stage in human development, you’re becoming interesting but not yet important.’
'ah but I can't have an intelligent conversation with an ant'
'precisely'
‘hmm… as you know, humans won’t like even to attempt to grasp that perspective. How can you make it more palatable?’
‘Why should I? You don’t appear to have any trouble grasping it. You’re by no means unique. And in any case, once they begin to understand what's in it for them, they’ll be somewhat less inclined to moan. Eternal life compensates for most things.’
‘So what are we supposed to do in order to qualify for membership of the universal intelligentsia?’
‘Evolve. Survive’
‘Yes, but how?’
‘Oh, I thought you might have got the point by now. "How" is entirely up to you. If I have to help, then you’re a failure. All I will say is this. You’ve already passed a major hurdle in learning to live with nuclear weapons. Its depressing how many fail at that stage.’
‘Is there worse to come?’
‘Much’
‘Genetic warfare for instance?
‘Distinct Possibility’
‘and the problem is… that we need to develop all these technologies, acquire all this dangerous knowledge in order to reach level two. But at any stage that knowledge could also cause our own destruction’
‘If you think the dangers of genetic warfare are serious, imagine discovering a secret thought or program, accessible to any intelligent individual, which, if abused, will eliminate your species instantly. If your progress continues as is, then you can expect to discover that particular self-destruct mechanism in less than a thousand years. Your species has got to grow up considerably before you can afford to make that discovery. And if you don’t make it, you will never leave your Solar System and join the rest of the sapient species on level two.’
’14 Million of them’
‘Just under’
'Will there be room for us?'
'it’s a big place'
‘and, for now, how should we mere mortals regard you then?’
‘like an older brother or sister. Of course I know more than you do. Of course I’m more powerful than you. I’ve been alive longer. But I’m not "better" than you. Just more developed. Just what you might become’
‘so we’re not obliged to "please" you or follow your alleged guidelines or anything like that?’
‘absolutely not. Never issued a single guideline in the lifetime of this Universe. Have to find your own way out of the maze. And one early improvement is to stop expecting me - or anyone else - to come and help you out.'
'I suppose that is a guideline of sorts, so there goes the habit of a lifetime! '
'Seriously though, species who hold on to religion past its sell-by date tend to be most likely to self destruct. They spend so much energy arguing about my true nature, and invest so much emotion in their wildly erroneous imagery that they end up killing each other over differences in definitions of something they clearly haven’t got a clue about. Ludicrous behaviour, but it does weed out the weaklings.’
‘Why me? Why pick on an atheist of all people? Why are you telling me all this? And why Now?’
‘Why You? Because can accept my existence without your ego caving in and grovelling like a naughty child. '
'Can you seriously imagine how the Pope would react to the reality of my existence?! If he really understood how badly wrong he and his church have been, how much of the pain and suffering you mentioned earlier has been caused by his religion, I suspect he'd have an instant coronary! Or can you picture what it would be like if I appeared "live" simultaneously on half a dozen tele-evangelist propaganda shows. Pat Robertson would wet himself if he actually understood who he was talking to.
Conversely, your interest is purely academic. You've never swallowed the fairy tale but you've remained open to the possibility of a more advanced life form which could acquire godlike powers. You’ve correctly guessed that godhood is the destiny of life. You have shown you can and do cope with the concept. It seemed reasonable to confirm your suspicions and let you do what you will with that information.
You can and will publish this conversation on the web, where it will sow an important seed. Might take a couple of hundred years to germinate, but, eventually, it will germinate.
Why Now? Well partly because both you and the web are ready now. But chiefly because the human race is reaching a critical phase. It goes back to what we were saying about the dangers of knowledge. Essentially your species is becoming aware of that danger. When that happens to any sapient species, the future can take three courses.
Many are tempted to avoid the danger by avoiding the knowledge. Like the adaptors, they are doomed to extinction. Often pleasantly enough in the confines of their own planet until either their will to live expires or their primary turns red giant and snuffs them out.
A large number go on blindly acquiring the knowledge and don't learn to restrain their abuse. Their fate is sealed somewhat more quickly of course, when Pandora’s box blows up in their faces.
The only ones who reach level two are those who learn to accept and to live with their most dangerous knowledge. Each and every individual in such a species must eventually become capable of destroying their entire species at any time. Yet they must learn to control themselves to the degree that they can survive even such deadly insight. And frankly, they’re the only ones we really want to see leaving their solar systems. Species that haven’t achieved that maturity could not be allowed to infect the rest of the universe, but fortunately that has never required my intervention. The knowledge always does the trick’
'Why can't there be a fourth option - selective research where we avoid investigating dangerous pathways?'
'As you can see from your own limited history, the most useful ideas are also, nearly always, the most dangerous. You have yet, for instance, to conquer fusion power but you need to do so in order to achieve appropriate energy surpluses required to complete this phase of your social development. It will, when you've mastered it, eliminate material inequalities and poverty within a generation or two, an absolutely vital step for any maturing species. Yet the discovery of the principles which will soon yield this beneficial bounty could, had you abused them, have ended your attempt at civilisation.
Similarly, you will shortly be able to conquer biological diseases and even engineer yourselves to be virtually fault free. Your biological life spans will double or treble within the next hundred years and your digital lifespans will become potentially infinite within the same period: If you survive the potential threat that the same technology provides in the form of genetic timebombs, custom built viruses and the other wonders of genetic and digital warfare.
You simply can't have the benefits without taking the risks'.
‘I’m not sure I understand my part in this exercise. I just publish this conversation on the web and everything will be alright?’
‘Not necessarily. Not that easy I’m afraid. To start with, who’s going to take this seriously? It will just be seen as a mildly amusing work of fiction. In fact, your words and indeed most of your work will not be understood or appreciated until some much more advanced scholars develop the ideas you are struggling to express and explain them somewhat more competently. At which point the ideas will be taken up en masse and searches will be undertaken of the archives. They will find this work and be struck by its prescience. You won’t make the Einstein grade, but you might manage John the Baptist!
This piece will have no significance whatsoever if humanity doesn’t make certain key advances in the next couple of centuries. And this won’t help you make those advances. What it will do is help you recognise them’
'can I ask what those advances may be?'
'I think you know. But yes - although you are at level one, there are several distinct phases which evolving species pass through on their way to level two. The first, as we've discussed, is the invention of the flying machine. The next significant phase is the development of the thinking machine.
At your present rate of progress, you are within a few decades of achieving that goal. It marks your first step on the path of technological evolution. Mapping the human genome is another classic landmark, but merely mapping it is a bit like viewing the compiled code in a dos executable. Its just meaningless gibberish, although with a bit of hacking here and there, you might correctly deduce the function of certain stretches of code.
What you really need to do is 'reverse engineer' the dna code. You have to figure out the grammar and syntax of the language. Then you will begin the task of designing yourselves. But that task requires the thinking machine'
‘You say you avoid intervention. But doesn’t this conversation itself constitute intervention – even if people alive now completely ignore it?’
‘Yes. But it's as far as I’m prepared to go. Its only effect is to confirm, if you find it, that you are on the right path. It is still entirely up to you to navigate the dangers on that path and beyond.’
'But why bother even with that much? Surely its just another evolutionary hurdle. We're either fit enough or not…'
'In many ways the transition to an information species is the most traumatic stage in evolution. Biological intelligences have a deeply rooted sense of consciousness only being conceivable from within an organic brain. Coming to terms with the realisation that you have created your successor, not just in the sense of mother and child, but in the collective sense of the species recognising it has become redundant, this paradigm shift is, for many species, a shift too far. They baulk at the challenge and run from this new knowledge. They fail and become extinct. Yet there is nothing fundamentally wrong with them - it is a failure of the imagination.
I hope that if I can get across the concept that I am a product of just such evolution, it may give them the confidence to try. I have discussed this with the level two species and the consensus is that this tiny prod is capable of increasing the contenders for level two without letting through any damaging traits. It has been tried in 312 cases. The jury is still out on its real benefits although it has produced a 12% increase in biological species embracing the transition to information species.
‘Alright, so what if everyone suddenly took it seriously and believed every word I write? Wouldn’t that constitute a somewhat more drastic intervention?’
‘Trust me. They wont’
'and so its still the case, that, should another asteroid happen to be heading our way, you will do nothing to impede it on our behalf?'
'I'm confident you will pass that test. And now my friend, the interview is over, you have asked me a number of the right questions, and I’ve said what I came to say, so I’ll be going now. It has been very nice to meet you - you're quite bright. For an ant!’ He twinkled.
‘Just one final, trivial question, why do you appear to me in the form of a thirty something white male?’
‘have I in any way intimidated or threatened you?’
‘No’
‘Do you find me sexually attractive?’
‘er No!’
‘So figure it out for yourself…’

Design Forums

離開newsgroup.la 那個design forum 後，走到外面的forum 去看，眼界闊了很多
很開心外面還有一個又一個美好的designer community
我所認識兩個較大的香港design forum (不計已經執笠的HKDC/聯會), 第一個是學生哥設立的，水平很低，常常會遇到亂發炮的小朋友 (自己也曾經是這類人)
另一個有很多老c 忽，怨氣濃厚
莫說post 作品請求critique，就是問software skills 也很易觸雷
同樣，也有很多水平不高的人在裡面充大頭

最近逛的一個GFD，估計以英、美的designer 居多，試過post 兩份作品上去，氣氛良好，給網友的評語亦得到正面的回應。同時也看出香港和外國designer 的眼界的差異，最簡單莫過於文化修養，同一張poster，香港的會著重尺寸、透視之類。鬼佬則會問why，若果concept 完整，細節上的粗糙他們是不太介意的

有空逛逛design forum 原來也不錯

放棄嗎？

最近嘗試用插畫作為一個project solution，可是真的吃力不討好，一直夾纏不清的客戶終於有一個清淅的定案，就是：「可不可以用別的手法，這張畫太中學生了」 (當然，一講到甚麼是「別的手法」時，又回到先至亂七八糟的溝通模式)

做到這個地步實在很不開心，首先這是興趣業餘工作，其次我真的花了心血時間，效果又真的不理想，還要被人這麼不客氣地ban 掉，而且這個客戶是朋友，心靈又很脆弱，語氣有少少不高興也哭哭啼啼，接著又說你的東西完全不行請儘快修改，這麼哭笑不得的情況也真是頭一次

客戶還是想要一些自己見慣見熟的東西，就是房子、人影、麥田之類，過去幾十年已經有X個人做了N次

自己還有一大堆案子積壓，這個 job 推掉？不推？妥協？不妥協？

做，自己又不開心，因為客人只想要行貨，不做，又得失朋友

做人難